AWA: Academic Writing at Auckland

The hen party is a rite of passage ritual performed with the bride to be before a marriage ritual. The female friends, family and bridal party of the bride attend. It represents a transition between girlfriend and wife and its purpose is to allow the bride to celebrate and experience her last moments of free life before she becomes a wife. It can take place a few months, weeks or days before the wedding. This essay is an ethnography of Grace’s hen party. The analysis will explore the gender roles and symbols of the hen party and the liminal phase Grace experienced.

Grace and Jake will marry in two weeks and I was invited to attend Grace’s hen party. Grace sits there covered in a ‘Bride to be’ sash and a bold sequined bra is put over her dress, oversized glittered sunglasses are put on her head. One of her bridesmaids hands me a tacky plastic penis necklace and I put it over my neck. The focus is on Grace, I watch as the women all make sure to take part in talking and interacting with her.

The bodily symbol of the dressing up of Grace is individual, it is to make her stand out and bring attention to her. It also shows group membership as it symbolises a camaraderie between her and the bridesmaids. It produces a type of coming together within the group in a humorous atmosphere. Group membership is also symbolised through the guests having a penis necklace. The ‘Bride to be sash’ on Grace symbolises her rank within the group, it shows the members and the public that she is the bride therefore she is the focus of the party.

We are all drinking and Grace tells me she is going to get wasted tonight, we shot Sambuca and start talking about ‘the last night of freedom’. In everyday life, the penis accessories used at a hen party would be a taboo. It would be viewed as obscene as the genitals are the most concealed and private body part. When used at the hen party they are not taboo. The penis is a symbol of what a hen party means. The penis symbolises the ‘last night of freedom’ which is a statement often made in relation to hen parties. It is the last night of freedom before the bride is committed to one man and her priorities shift from herself to her husband and later on, children. The hen party is a time when women can openly and publicly objectify men and their most private, intimate body part, their penis. The social norms at the hen party are that the guests are expected to push Grace’s boundaries of acceptable behaviour and the penis symbolises this pushing of the private into the public.

We go to a male stripper bar where several hen parties are taking place. We lead Grace onto the stage, Grace gently refuses by saying “what are you lot up to, why am I sitting here”. The music is turned up and a song called ‘It’s Raining Men’ starts belting out from the speakers and a group of attractive men enter, everyone screams and laughs. The men are dancing, doing press ups and a fitness like routine. One man moves closer to Grace and rips off his pants, his penis is now only covered by a thin cloth. We all scream and clap. The man rubs himself on Grace, her face goes red indicating a slight embarrassment but she continues to laugh and smile. The men perform a dance with various sexual movements and several woman are invited to rub his chest, they rub it hard and rough, I also rub his chest. He does a sexual gesture towards Grace, grinding his hips over her. He finishes by picking up her hands and making her rub his chest and buttocks. Grace likes this and she starts to participate more. The only men in sight are toned, oiled and topless strippers and bar staff.

The custom of the male stripper at the hen party is part of the rite of passage. The bride to be is expected to have some male encounters before she can be considered ready to marry. The stripper is an object for the women and the performance is based around his body. He is simply a symbol of a bride to be and her guests expressing the freedom expected before her marriage. The penis necklace which showed our membership to the hen party group allowed us also to be involved in the touching of the strippers.

New Zealand has a patriarchal society. The touching of men seen at hen parties is against social norms for women in New Zealand but at a hen party it is allowed and adds to the excitement. The women are generally seen as passive and men as aggressive, therefore the women pose no threat to the stripper. The touching at male strip performances is encouraged and acceptable but the woman are interested in touching abs and muscles, such areas represent strength and vigour. The men actively gesture for the women to touch them reinforcing the male role of dominance as they are in control of the situation, they rub themselves over the bride to be, and they take her hands and rub them on him. The woman’s gender role changes at the hen party, she can objectify men as part of the rite of passage. The male gender role of dominance and aggression remains.

The hen party shows Grace’s transition between girlfriend and wife. Grace can clearly be seen to enter a liminal stage at her hen party. She is separated from all the men in her life including her husband to be. The party is the liminal stage, she is allowed to act differently, she can visit a male strip bar and touch men, and she can enjoy the sexual gestures made by the stripper. After the party she is reincorporated, having had a hen party she is suitably prepared for the marriage ritual.

Grace’s hen party has many symbols which have a variety of meanings and significance not only for her guests but also for New Zealand society. The penis is the widely known symbol of a hen party and it alerts the public of the reason for our behaviour. The observations made at the male strip bar allowed the exploration of the gender roles of women which are changed during this liminal phase. The gender role of men do not change and they assert their role by showing their strength. Grace’s hen party was a night where we were members of a special group of women, we could use men as our objects and show Grace what it means to be free. The next morning the penis necklaces, sequined bra and Sambuca were put away. The liminal phase had ended. Grace had awoken and it was expected now that she would take on her new status, she would became Jake’s wife.

Word Count: 1181